


Scenario 19 – Oh, Dear

by stranger12



Series: But I’m A–! [19]
Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-11 13:04:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4436555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stranger12/pseuds/stranger12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shira has some mighty high standards.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scenario 19 – Oh, Dear

Shira sighed into her martini as she surveyed the girl his son brought home. Anyone who knew her enough, like her family members, knew just by looking at her face, that she was not at all pleased by what she was seeing.

The girl (Rory Gilmore, Logan said) was tall, pretty and seemed polite enough. From what she’d heard from her ever proud grandparents, she was a bright young girl with much to look forward to in her professional life (God, so tacky, a professional life! Boring!). Shira, though, wasn’t impressed by what the girl had to offer up close. His son had certainly had his fill of rich, smart and pretty girls hanging all over him over the years, and she couldn’t for the life of her figure out what was so about the little girl in her living room.

Oh well. Logan had never brought home a girlfriend, so she supposed she would have her work cut out for her with Rory. Rory Huntzberger. Dear. No, that would not do, it would not. Lorelai Huntzberger was marginally better, but at least it sounded more elegant and dignified, and if one were to marry into the family, they either had to have been born with it all, or learn on their feet in no time before they were devoured.

And let’s be honest. People wondered how Shira managed to snag Mitchum, but it was so easy to see why once you got past her middle class background. Yes, she would have to make do with Rory– Lorelai.

“So, Rory~” – Shira sung, showing the girl how a Huntzberger woman sounded. The little girl perked up. Good, good. Perhaps not too difficult to mold.

“Yes, Mrs. Huntzberger?”

“Dear, no. Call me Shira. We are going to be family eventually, aren’t we?”

“... Excuse me?” – and Emily Gilmore had the gall to call her bright!

“That is why you are here, is it not? Unless Logan brought home some girl he picked up at a bar and not in fact his serious girlfriend” – she said sweetly, turning a smile to her son, who fidgeted.

“Mom, we’ve just started dating”

“Is that the case? But she is your girlfriend”

“Yes” – he mumbled.

“Excuse me, son?”

“Yes, ma’am” – he repeated after clearing his throat. Shira saw him shoot Lorelai an apologetic glance. Tsk, tsk. Such a soft boy (just like his daddy).

“In any case, dear Rory. I think you shall make a wonderful addition to the family one day”

“... Thank you?”

“Yes, yes. As you can see, there are far too many boys in the family, dear Josh included” – the man nodded respectfully. Honor had insisted on breaking him, having an idea that she wouldn’t care much for him if her mother had a go at him, and Shira was more than pleased by the results. A fine young man, dear Josh – “It will be so nice to have another daughter. Honor is the perfect child, but I would like another one” – mother and daughter shared private smiles, and the men shivered almost in unison.

“I...” – Lorelai started uncertainly – “Like Logan said, we have just started dating, it’s not... I mean, it’s not marriage serious” – her cheeks flooded bright red as Shira continued smiling beatifically at her.

My, this was the formidable Emily Gilmore’s one and only grandchild? The future for the Gilmores was grim indeed.

“I understand, Rory dear. But one must always think about the future, don’t you agree? That is why people further their studies in their fields of interest– Yours is journalism?”

“Yes. Ma’am” – she added hastily.

“At least it is in line with the family business, good enough choice”

“... Mom” – Logan said softly, eyes begging Shira to be nice. Oh, Logan. Logan, Logan.

“I also understand you wish to actually use your diploma! So quaint”

“Er, yes. I intend to be a foreign correspondent”

“Like Christiane Amanpour?”

“Yes, exactly. She’s my role model”

“Quite an impressive woman, I applaud your choice” – she could hear Josh and Eli whimpering a little in the background, but. Meh, Honor could keep them in line – “Now, before we move onto dinner, and what a feast we have in wait!” – she flickered her fingers and Mitchum obediently handed her a significantly thick document.

“Mom, no” – Logan groaned. She turned her head to him and he instantly lowered his gaze. Lorelai looked intrigued as she was handed the document.

“What is this?”

“That is a pre–nup”

“A– Wait. Logan and I aren’t getting married any time soon”

“You aren’t? Oh dear me. Well, I suppose that until you do, you have more than enough time to got through it, hand it over to your lawyers, you know. Make sure everything is like it should be and mutually beneficial”

“Mrs. Huntzberger, I don’t– I don’t– This is– Okay, this is moving way too fast. I was just breaking up with Logan the other day and now we’re dating and I’m here and you’re handing me a pre–nup like we’ve announced we’re getting married next week!” – the little girl exclaimed, and quite rudely too.

Shira tsked, and the men whined softly. Lorelai frowned at Logan in confusion, and met Shira’s gaze straight on.

Well, well. Perhaps Logan had picked the right partner after all.

“So you won’t even consider it?” – she asked in a smooth, even and perfected gentle tone.

“No, I don’t think I will” – Lorelai put the document on the coffee table and didn’t even pretend to be mournful about it.

Oh dear. The right girl, but perhaps not moldable enough for Shira’s tastes. Tsk, tsk, Logan just had to pick a girl that fell just this side of wrong for the family, didn’t he? Unruly boy, she would have to give him a refresher on good manners and decision making later.

“I’m afraid I can’t allow you to continue dating my son, in that case” – Shira said with a sigh. Lorelai widened her eyes.

“Wait, what?”

“You refuse to comply with a tiny, little request from your future mother–in–law, how ever can I trust you to be good enough for my son, for my family? No, miss Gilmore, I’m afraid you are not welcomed in this home anymore, I would like to ask you to leave the premises right now. I’m sorry you won’t be able to enjoy the dinner I ordered made, it really is marvelous”

“I– I don’t– Wow” – Lorelai– Rory. Yes, Rory was fine. Rory stared at Logan, whose head was bowed – “You’re seriously not going to say anything? Seriously?”

“I’m sorry, Ace” – the boy whispered, shaking his head miserably. Oh dear. No, Shira would get him a new girl in no time, if nothing else to clear his head with sex. Yes, sex always lifted his spirits, she would help him in that, yes, she would.

“I can’t believe this. This is the most ridiculous thing that’s ever happened to me!” – Rory more or less exploded, getting up in a huff.

“Don’t be so sour, dear” – Shira tittered as the little girl walked away – “No man likes a sour girlfriend, not to say about a sour wife!”

She laughed a little when she heard she front door slam shut.

“Shall we head to dinner? I am positively famished. Honor?” – the young woman nodded and rose.

“Come along, Josh” – she said, and the man dutifully followed his fiancée to the table. With a look back, Mitchum and Eli followed suit.

Logan remained stationary, looking sulky. Dear boy, so sensitive.

“Now, now, son, you knew very well this would happen, did you now?”

“I suppose I did. But you didn’t have to scare her off, I’m sure she would’ve fit into the family just fine, mom” – the boy dared say, but his voice was pleasantly resigned so she let it pass.

“You will find the proper girl one day, son, I’m sure. Now, come. I asked the chef to bake you your favorite”

“White chocolate raspberry soufflé?” – he asked hopefully, following her into the dining room like a sweet little puppy.

“Of course, darling. Now, remember. The next girl you bring should be at least aware of what it means to be a Huntzberger” – the boy pouted but nodded.

“I know. But I like Ace so much”

“Perhaps she’ll come around, she is Emily Gilmore’s granddaughter, after all. I suppose you may continue to sleep with her, if you insist, but none of this girlfriend/boyfriend nonsense, you hear me?” – he stayed still as she fixed his collar.

“Of course, mom. I’m not too sure Ace will want anything to do with me now, but, thank you”

“You’re most welcome, my boy. Now let’s go”

Yes, perhaps the next girl would be just right for them. Maybe it would even me a much more docile Rory Gilmore. Perhaps. She would have the most adorable grandchildren, in any case.

Oh well. Onto more important business for the moment. Like food. Yes, good food.

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT! I've been having problems writing these stories, and now I'm going to take a break. Hopefully I'll be able to pick it up soon enough, but who knows.


End file.
